I am tired. And I know I'm not the only one. But I'm the kind of tired that sleeping only helps so much (not that I've been getting enough anyway...stupid insomnia). I don't know how it happened, but I think I'm burnt out. Thing is, I think it's more of a community burn-out that's happening, and rightly so as there's been a heck of a lot going on!

Especially the last few weeks, it just seems like there's one event after another going on. Not convinced? It's. Documented.

Then there's all of the online world I am trying to keep up with on a daily basis. Google Reader - 91 subscriptions, currently 521 unread items. Flickr. Facebook. Jaiku. Email. YouTube. My banking is online. My calendar is online. It's bleeping at me telling me about the yoga class I'm not going to in 30 minutes. I haven't posted on Spend Locally for...a couple months? Heck, I've been meaning to write this post for over a week! Somewhere in there I (foolishly?) decided to take a four week weight training course, thinking that some encouragement to exercise would help me feel a little more balanced and less knotted up, but I am already wondering if it was a dumb idea to take on one more thing.

And I'll admit it, I am having trouble deciding how to cut back. I've been meticulously weeding my Google Reader in hopes that at some point I will be able to keep it from building up like crazy. I've got all my email accounts funneling into Gmail. I've started just going home if there's an event on and I'm tired. But there's some things I can't skip, like making food every damn day--there's not much out there I can eat, so no matter how pooped I am, I almost always have to cook. And do dishes cause I don't have a dishwasher.

Yet, this week I still have somewhere I'm supposed to be every night through Saturday. I have a feeling that by the time I hit the weekend, I will be more than ready to bail on Friday and Saturday evening's festivities in favour of spending some quality time with the couch. And maybe doing some laundry before I run out of clean underwear.

It's going around bigtime too - everyone's tired, burnt out, sick as a dog. I've been fighting off a cold for over a week, my body doesn't even know whether to just let it win or keep fighting. Good friends have had to outsource menial tasks in their lives, called me so sick they couldn't go out and buy Kleenex and food, and others have quit their jobs just to get off the conveyor belt.

And before you pull out the "But you have Fridays off" card, you can stuff it cause all I end up doing on Fridays these days is going to doctors appointments and getting stupid tests done.

Solutions? Well, aside from the gradual scaling back, I have been considering strongly choosing a day of the week to spend offline. As a bit of a trial, yesterday (Sunday) I did not turn on my instant messenger. I know that may not sound like a big deal to some people, but it is normally on almost all of the time I'm at work and at home (awake). I've also taken to screening both phone calls and IM messages just to maintain my sanity (please don't take it personally!), and muting my computer when I am not sitting at my desk so I'm not drawn back in by the bleep of an email or IM coming in. I figure if anything that crucial is going on, someone will call me.

It's not much, but I'm taking small steps towards getting some time and hopefully some energy back. Which I'll need, since the weekend after this one is Northern Voice, and the following weekend I head to Boston for a week for DrupalCon. I'm not convinced things are ever going to slow down!

Advice? Thoughts? Complaints? Perspective? Give 'er. (ps. if you think this is too much complaining, don't worry, this is on my to-do list...)

A bit of this, a bit of that

Friday got off to a bit of a slow start--was going to go into work for the morning and make up some sick time, but instead woke up with probably the worst neck pain I'd had all week (and it was not a good week), and realized I really needed to go back to the doctor.  So, I went to the doctor that had referred me to the rheumatologist and the interesting thing was I didn't actually get to see the doctor, I ended up just seeing this nurse practitioner that was working with her.  Now I know what you might be thinking--great clinic, they don't even let you see the doctor, but the thing is, this

Practicing yes.

I know it's well past New Years, and that's okay because this is not exactly a post about resolutions, but more a post about the ongoing struggle to be happy with a life I didn't plan, and to figure out how I can turn the life I have into the one I always wanted.  Although I really enjoyed among others, Richard's post of New Years Intentions (rather than making promises to yourself you'll just end up breaking),

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On being broken

As the year comes to an end, I spend this morning trying to psych myself up to go get the blood tests done that were requested nearly two weeks ago.  I should've done it days ago, but two weeks ago I caught this stupid flu, and I still haven't really recovered from it.  At least I had been feeling better in comparison to the spring/summer till this hit me like a ton of bricks, but the fatigue and upset stomach that I haven't been able to shake are not conducive to making a person want to go get a shitload of blood drawn.

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Scott (thankyou!) finally moved my blog off of Wordpress MU (multiuser), so now it's actually at instead of that just redirecting to the old crazy address ( All the permalinks etc. should work fine, and there's redirects, but you should update your RSS feed to okay? If you find anything weird otherwise please let me know.

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No, really?

This morning my chiropractor said two things to me while I was at my appointment:

"You've lost a lot of weight."

"You're really stressing out about something."

Duh and duh. Seriously, tell me something I didn't know. I lost three pounds (which looks/feels like a lot on someone my size--my 'skinny jeans' are roomy on me right now) cause I've been sick, and I've been stressing about being sick. The prescription: fun and exercise. I'm doing it as much as I can considering I've been sick!!! I mean, I know she's trying to help, but AARRG!

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